The Perfect SideChic

The Perfect SideChic

Growing up, you have this perfect idea about how you want to meet the love of your life but suddenly! here you are…no love of your life! You are 27! Then one day, you meet this really amazing guy and he yings your yang; he makes everything beautiful and easy. But here’s the thing, this great dude is married!

Welp! You go home, light a scent candle, hug your pillow and cry. Cursing every single guy who somehow led you to this point. “Life is unfair”

Fast track 2months into your forbidden love affair, your married boyfriend keeps the love alive. You chat late into the night; he calls you every time; he becomes a huge part of your everyday life and you now have this glow that can only be achieved by Brownskingirl around you. Everyone can see it. They are happy you are happy. Congratulations, you’re now a side chic.

Some of us are lovers. Not mediocre lovers. Not even love that is hinged on material things. We give all of ourselves to the people we imprint on and we look for the little things our partners do so we wear it around our necks like beads reminding us of love. The thing is we will always find those little things just that this time, we are looking in a place we have no business checking.

To be the perfect side chic for the LOYL who happens to love his wife too just that “there is something about you”, you will have to learn to accept anything he offers. Time, love, attention, money, sex… You accept whatever he give or you soon become the girl that complains too much. If you really love your married boyfriend, you must train yourself to applaud him for the crumbs of emotions he feeds you. It has to be just enough for you.

You cannot want vacations. What will he tell his wife? And kids? Don’t forget the kids… You must learn to not be jealous because he will pick his wife’s call in the middle of kissing you and you will hear him call another woman “baby”. You must be cool with it.

You cannot call at odd hours to tell him about your dog’s dental issues or about your ulcer. Such things cannot be the reason why His wife would ask “who is calling you that this time”. You must be wise enough not to be the reason he has any form of verbal exchange with his wife because when it comes down to him making a choice, you will lose! You cannot want too much. Whatever you have with him  is only temporary.

You have to accept he will get angry when you get attention from other guys. Yet you have no right to get moody or ask questions of his marriage when he has to go back home even though you only spend 30minutes together and the last time you saw him was 2months ago. This is the deal you signed up for. No matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, it boils down to “just sex”. So  he leaves and you turn to the other side and cry. If you are like me, you’ll probably pour yourself a glass of vodka and wish you didn’t have asthma so you could smoke that madness away. You want to stop but toxic love is exciting until it drives you crazy! Snap back to reality.

You will always be on the edge knowing that you are the one he will leave no matter how much love & respect & loyalty you give. His family will always come first and if you threaten the order of things, he will walk away without care for how you feel as long as his family remains safe. He will eat his cake and have it.

Yes,you really love this guy that everything warns you about. But you need to train a part of your heart to be prepared to move on because he will break your heart. He will break your heart and find a way to blame you for it. This is the guilt that would eat at your heart everyday you remember that you could have just done it this way or not said that thing and maybe you could have made him stay. It’s a guilt you may never received from because you could have sworn you were the girl that never asked for too much!

So, say you find yourself in this situation, you either enjoy it while it lasts or just avoid it altogether because everyday with your married boyfriend is the beginning of the end.

(Unpopular Opinions of a Sapiosexual Scorpio)

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